Each New Year’s is a time for us to think about our lives, where we have been, where we are now and where we are going in the future. All too often, we spend too little time doing this and, as a result, we don’t make the changes in our lives we would really like to see.
Thinking of a New Year’s resolution is all well and good but any major changes in our lives require a plan to help them reach fruition. Maybe you want to finally go after your childhood dream and become a singer, or change your job, or even go back to college and get a better qualification. Whatever it is, you need to think it through and consider the changes it will bring to your life and how you will handle it.
The first step is to take time away from your daily life and go visit a good friend for a weekend (without your partner and kids). Talk to them about your ideas and get their feedback. If what you are planning is a drastic change that could meet some resistance from your nearest and dearest, ask your friend to play devil’s advocate and try to argue you out of it. An idea that has not been tested could result in grief somewhere down the line.
Give yourself a couple of weeks to mull your idea over then go spend another weekend away, this time completely alone. Preferably at a beach or in a forest – somewhere quiet and natural that helps you to reflect on your life and the direction you are thinking of going.
Spend another couple of weeks researching what you want to do and then, if you are convinced it is right for you, discuss it seriously with your partner. Hopefully, they will support you all the way. If not, you need the strength to go forward yourself. This can be tricky and cause relationship problems so you really need to make your original case watertight.
During the 6 week thinking process it is important to keep your other half informed of what you are considering doing. There’s no need to be secretive (you don’t want your partner panicking and thinking you are planning to divorce them) but don’t present it as a firm plan, just an idea you are thinking about. Encourage your partner to do something similar, too, because the one constant in life is change and, if we fail to change, our lives become barren and empty. When you are spending your two weekends away, phone your partner twice a day. If you don’t keep in regular touch they could be imagining all kinds of bad things (which might not be a bad thing because they will appreciate you more when you return!).
New Year is nearly upon us so get your thinking cap on and start planning your two weekend trips. Whatever you do, don’t put off change for yet another year. As they say, there’s no time like the present!
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